one less lonely girl

long distance relationship can be very challenging both emotionally and physically.it's about really putting on a lot of effort in giving each other your time without compromising each other's schedule.yes, im talking about my own long distance relationship with ian.

ian is based in bacolod while im here working my ass off in cebu.not really a very long distance but just the same, it's very demanding for communication and it's testing our patience for the longest time now.what i mean is, with the work schedule that i have now, and with his personal schedule too, we don't get to text or chat that much.

both me and ian are not the most demanding type of persons in the world but just lately we decided that it's about time to see each other after a month or so.i wana fly to bacolod and do that but since im still new at work, i couldn't take an extra day off! bummer! guess what? ian offered (or was it me suggesting :D) that he will be the one to come visit me, yeyy!

i hope next time you'd stay longer :(( i miss you now that your back in bacolod.but thank you for the time and effort.thank you 'ian' for making 'hearty' happy! i love you x

oh yeah, i must confess, I MISS RICHARD SOOO MUCH :(((

if you are to ask people about how they perceive me? you would likely to get these descriptions: fun, easy-go-lucky, outgoing, confident, free-spirit, perky, and sunny. only very close people who knew me would tell you that aside from bein upbeat, i have low self esteem and im not that confident of who i am because of certain events that happened to me.

lately i have been elated because one person was making me feel that im capable of loving and being loved in return. but thing is, the guy i thought would be my happy-ever-after just BROKE MY HEART. yes you heard it right, im in pain right now. so much pain that i deactivated my facebook account and thinks of not goin to school for a week. its hard to accept that im not worth a guys love and not worth to keep it all together.

i have always promoted (((!good vibes!)))) to win over the negative energy but gawwd! what happened to me is more than i can handle.for the first time, i actually wish that i was a different person, livin in a different time because if i have to do my life all over again-- il be very careful and be very cautious of who im lettin into my life.

tanyt, i'd be sleeping with a broken heart.and as much as i want to keep the tears from fallin-- it just wont stop.i wana escape.i wana fllllyyyyyy awaaaaayyyy!

a sad exchange of sms:

enrico: i'll bring ur cardigan later..
heartoi: wat tym po?
enrico: mga 7.30 cguro, aftr ur worship?
heartoi: k
enrico: unless im invited sa worship..
heartoi: aww i duno..i really dnt wna bother u na..that wud seem awkward..
enrico: bother me lang bala..ma rest lang ku d.
heartoi: things had changed after that very sad sunday night when you chose to ignore me dude..you dont wana know wat hapend..but dont worry i never responded to hermessages..and you may also wana tell her to stop messaging me coz its makin me sick dude.pls.
**NO REPLY*** (for 2 hours)
enrico: juz woke up..fell asleep earlier.txting a cab now so i can bring ur cardigan
enrico: goin der na..
heartoi: kk.
enrico: here na kmi.. (with tipsy)

**GOT THE CARDIGAN..WASNT READY FOR A CONVERSATION SO MADE UP AN EXCUSE THAT I NEED TO GET INSIDE. HE TOLD ME HE WISHED THEY COULD STAY LONGER.TIPSY WAS LICKIN MY FACE ALL OVER.AND BOY!! I MISS HIM MORE THAN ANYBODY ELSE.HEY, I'LL TEXT YOU, HE SAID.GOT ANOTHER HUG BEFORE FINALLY GETTIN INSIDE THA CAB**

enrico: we're back home na..sana we stayed longer pa..:(
heartoi: thank you for bringin my cardigan
enrico: i miss you..i really, really miss u..i miss spendin tym w/ u..i miss ur smile, i miss ur laughter, i miss ur everything :(
heartoi: i wish that 'miss' can make up for everything.just help me move on ric..my mantra now: its okey, its alryt..i think God can xplain..
enrico: u cant move on..coz i cant let u :(
heartoi: thats unfair!!
enrico: i'll fix it. it'll all b ok

**ITS ALMOST A YEAR SINCE THIS COMPLICATED THANG STARTED AND GOD I WISH THIS TO BE OVER.IM STRUGGLIN REAL HARD TO KEEP MYSELF TOGETHER** SAD, RYT?