saudade

-is a Portuguese or a Galician word for a feeling of nostalgic longing for something or someone that one was fond of and which has been lost.it often carries a fatalist tone and a repressed knowledge that the object of longing might never really return.it was once described as 'the love that remains" or the "love that stays" after someone is gone.

random

happy sunday everyone xx

today il move out from the dormitory because for the rest of my last year in college il be stayin with my sister, honey in her apartment room :)) im happy beyond words coz i can finally do whatever i want without bein paranoid of the time and all but i surprised myself of bein half sad as well.

here are few of the reasons:

1. there wouldnt be no more forceful wake-up call at 6am early in the morning-- the dormitory am worship is something i dint detest, honestly.it was more than a ritual tom.it was like an early morning date with my GOD.and i hope (crossin my fingers) i can still do that when im with honey.

2. the long line at the hospital cafeteria.yes i would miss that too."isa ka rice miss, chuckie dayon, dason itlog" aww laugh it out but i came to love the food- the vegan way :)

3. the convenient use of other's stuff.i admit it- i dont everything i need when i get back to college but life has been way way easier because of dorm mates who let me borrow stuff ineed (eg uniform, bp app, books and list continues)

4. the constant budgering about the use of the cr. we actually share the same cr with another room and and if its not always, from time to time there are always misunderstanding with the rights we share but then again, you learn to patch things up as soon as possible and things would be alright :)

5. my roomie.i only have 1 roomate, maiden and luckily we havent had any major problems in our co existence its been a fun 3 months stay with her.id surely miss her :(

a sad exchange of sms:

enrico: i'll bring ur cardigan later..
heartoi: wat tym po?
enrico: mga 7.30 cguro, aftr ur worship?
heartoi: k
enrico: unless im invited sa worship..
heartoi: aww i duno..i really dnt wna bother u na..that wud seem awkward..
enrico: bother me lang bala..ma rest lang ku d.
heartoi: things had changed after that very sad sunday night when you chose to ignore me dude..you dont wana know wat hapend..but dont worry i never responded to hermessages..and you may also wana tell her to stop messaging me coz its makin me sick dude.pls.
**NO REPLY*** (for 2 hours)
enrico: juz woke up..fell asleep earlier.txting a cab now so i can bring ur cardigan
enrico: goin der na..
heartoi: kk.
enrico: here na kmi.. (with tipsy)

**GOT THE CARDIGAN..WASNT READY FOR A CONVERSATION SO MADE UP AN EXCUSE THAT I NEED TO GET INSIDE. HE TOLD ME HE WISHED THEY COULD STAY LONGER.TIPSY WAS LICKIN MY FACE ALL OVER.AND BOY!! I MISS HIM MORE THAN ANYBODY ELSE.HEY, I'LL TEXT YOU, HE SAID.GOT ANOTHER HUG BEFORE FINALLY GETTIN INSIDE THA CAB**

enrico: we're back home na..sana we stayed longer pa..:(
heartoi: thank you for bringin my cardigan
enrico: i miss you..i really, really miss u..i miss spendin tym w/ u..i miss ur smile, i miss ur laughter, i miss ur everything :(
heartoi: i wish that 'miss' can make up for everything.just help me move on ric..my mantra now: its okey, its alryt..i think God can xplain..
enrico: u cant move on..coz i cant let u :(
heartoi: thats unfair!!
enrico: i'll fix it. it'll all b ok

**ITS ALMOST A YEAR SINCE THIS COMPLICATED THANG STARTED AND GOD I WISH THIS TO BE OVER.IM STRUGGLIN REAL HARD TO KEEP MYSELF TOGETHER** SAD, RYT?

2 nights ago, everything here in the dormitory was a total bore! my only roommate was not around, i dont have a fancy idea to think about and my phone was deafeningly silent.and the facebook page im staring wasnt that alluring as well.

so i decided to log out from the internet and browse the movie list in my laptop.randomly, i picked out 'the last song'

i was thinking that it was just another boy-girl crappy love story so i wasnt particularly attentive.

later on, i realized it was more of a father-daughter love story and the whole thing made me cry especially when miley finished the piano piece for her dad.

i end up sobbing in the middle of the night and i came to realize that dads, even how unexpressive they are truly love their lil girls.some of them may not have been good husbands but they will always be better fathers :) i love you pa!

today, i proved the law of attraction! (When you think of it as hard as you're almost believing..it does come true.)

i have always wanted to get out from the dormitory and live with my sister in her apartment.of course i followed the exact process and since both of my parents arent here in the philippines they have to make a phone call to the clinical coordinator.thats where my dilemma begins, in that part.

i have tried contacting both of my parents since last week to call but they seemed to be out of reach.so here's what i did, i asked my sister if she also wanted me transfer to her place as soon as possible and undoubtedly she said yes.i told her to think of mama and papa every single minute she can remember and im gonna do the same so that our energy will reach them and they will call.

sure enough, today when i arrived in my dorm room from class, my phone says 4 missed calls from mom and an sms msg as well. aint that cool?

so guys theres no harm in believing.if you want something real bad.think of it as a hard as you can.invite positive vibes and the whole universe will conspire to make it come true for you <3